Added: Chelia Fruge - Date: 16.10.2021 17:45 - Views: 18865 - Clicks: 3602
He is respectful, motivated, caring, and has an amazing sense of humor. My question is: how should we pace ourselves in this relationship? When would be the right time to move in together, and eventually, possibly even get engaged? Sometimes that knowing takes a while, and sometimes that knowing comes immediately. Maybe you fall into the latter category. Finding a person we click with really well is often the pretty easy part or easier part, anyway. Finding someone we click with really well whose dreams align with ours and who is living in a way that is appealing to us both in the short-term and long-term or who can adapt to our way of living is more of a challenge.
As far as a timeline goes, I would not recommend getting engaged until you know for sure your lives and future goals fit together, but beyond that there is no too fast or too slow. Maybe you break up? So… why not just figure it out sooner rather than later? Just make sure you have an exit plan — leave breadcrumbs to find your way home.
Once you have moved to your boyfriend either into his home or into a home of your own for a whileI would spend a lot of time getting to know Long distance relationship moving too fast ins and outs of military family life. Talk to military spouses and find out what their lives are like. Consider that your boyfriend will likely be deployed several times over the course of his career. If you marry him and have children with him, there could be long stretches of time when you are alone with the kids, essentially living like a single parent.
As much as you really like this guy and could see yourself spending your life with him, the military lifestyle may not be a fit for you. Beyond figuring out whether your boyfriend is a good longterm fit — whether your future dreams and goals align and whether you could be good domestic partners — you need to figure out whether you are cut out for the life of a military spouse. To that end, I say just do it. Why wait? Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram. It all boils down to risk, career wise can you get work in your field up there?
The list goes on and on with questions that you need to ask yourself. If possible could you go for an extended visit before making a permanent change? Kate December 16,am. What I wonder, though, is would you have to move in WITH him, into his military-sponsored housing I strongly recommend against thator could you get your own apartment and job and just date him for a while? I was seeing this guy for a while years ago who lived an 8-hour drive away, in another country.
We just genuinely had so much fun together.
And he was a successful business guy, owned a house, had a great family, all that stuff that looks good on paper. Turned out he was also an incorrigible sketchy cheater, but it took me a while to figure that out. And even before that, I went to see him once and stayed a week, working from his house while he went to work during the day. Lyra December 16,pm. I agree with your last paragraph especially. I can think of so many guys who fit that description. Would you be ok having spent all the money to move the distance to be with him but then you break up?
I ask all this because moving is SUCH a hassle and is incredibly expensive. FireStar December 16,am. All love comes with some level of risk. Could you move back with relative ease? Could you find employment? Life is short. Some great love stories start with a leap of faith. You may fall — sure. Or you may soar. Best of luck to you both! Lyra December 16,am. As someone who is dating a military guy veteran, is in the reservesI am a big supporter of military relationships.
Yes you originally met in college, but that was a while ago Long distance relationship moving too fast I guarantee he has changed as have you in the few short years since then. As Wendy said, being a military spouse is not for the faint of heart. Not to mention at times his mom was raising the 3 boys by herself because of deployments. So in a nutshell, give it time.
Spend some time dating from afar first, and make a decision if this is something you are absolutely serious about. I was married to a guy in active duty military, and I agree that in that culture it is very common to rush engagements and marriages and babies. And very common to find out you made a mistake.
But I really think having dating experience under your belt helps you know and figure that out more easily. My husband and I moved somewhat quickly though not nearly as quick as this situation.
We got engaged and lived together for 5 months before we were married. Once we decided on engagement, we moved fast because we knew what we wanted. Staying in the same place will just keep you safe. I definitely agree with what you said about relationship experience.
Yeah, it reminds me of one of my close friends who wants to move down to my state which would be great. That is a recipe for disaster. I say, make the move, take your birth control religiously and plan to go through all 4 seasons together before taking the engagement plunge.
I think it will be easier for you to think objectively about whether or not the military lifestyle will work for you without an engagement ring clouding your mind. One step at a time. Good luck! Addie Pray December 16,pm. Me too. So thanks, Wendy! Also, carpe diem, because pourquoi pas. What else am I missing? I say go for it! What is there to lose if you can afford it, have a back up plan and really want to? You know each other well, already. Go for a visit to make sure. Do it! When my partner moved away before we were togetherI had a job lining up in the same city.
I visited him two or three times while interviewing and getting to know the city a little. I took a chance and went. And at least you know you tried! Skyblossom December 16,pm. One thing you should consider is how long can he expect to remain where he is? How soon until he is transferred? Then you can decide whether the new location works for you.
What would you do if you ed him now and then he was transferred overseas? What if he ended up in Hawaii? Hawaii sounds fun but it is terribly expensive. Could you afford it? By: Dear Wendy December 16, Columns 15 comments. Several years ago I met a guy in college.
We were good friends for a while but eventually ended up falling out of touch. Five months ago he came home for a few weeks and we went out on some dates. We hit it off wonderfully and decided to give a long-distance relationship a shot.
All rights reserved.Long distance relationship moving too fast
email: [email protected] - phone:(254) 387-3892 x 9151
“How Fast is Too Fast to Move for Love?”