Added: Quintella Deitz - Date: 14.10.2021 12:37 - Views: 19180 - Clicks: 4171
Comedian Gail Forrest muses on the hot men that shop at Home Depot and wonders: Could the store serve as a superior dating site? I spent more time at Home Depot during the pandemic than the grocery store. The aisles were wide, people were scarce, and paper towels, toilet paper and light bulbs were cheap. In fact, on more than one occasion I was the only female in the store except for the cashiers. Whoa, baby. So when my friend David suggested now that I was vaccinated and getting restless I should get a job, I burst out laughing when he mentioned Home Depot. Then I stopped laughing and started thinking that could be genius.
Genius, I say.
Home Depot could be my own personal dating site. Men galore and I can pick and choose. No wondering if someone lied about their height and weight on their online profile, or if their pictures were from fifteen years ago; I could see for myself. What a time saver. Adding to the allure, all the employees get to wear orange — the new black! Out with my former art-dealer-black wardrobe and in with Home Depot-orange. Twenty four years as an art advisor and I never Home depot dating policy a date, only happily coupled straight or gay men.
Intelligent, sophisticated and wealthy, but taken. Definitely not an alternative dating site, but a great business. Spoiler alert: I know absolutely nothing about tools, home repair, or any item sold at Home Depot except the candy at the checkout counter. I have never gone in alone but always with my handy helper David to buy even a single nail. And did you know there are hundreds of kinds of nails? The stores are gigantic — like Disneyland for home repair junkies. The aisles are clearly labeled but still made me dizzy: Dry Wall as opposed to?
There is not one aisle that re Lingerie, Sportswear, or Shoes. I will learn what dry wall means if it kills me or falls on me.
That is, however, when the hunky young contractors come in to pick up their materials for work. And they are lusciously tanned in their perfectly worn out jeanstight t-shirts, muscled arms and flat abs. Anyone else feeling hot? Later in the day you can spy the Ralph Lauren blue blazer types and Bernie Sanders disheveled look.
So many men, so little ability to help them. I believe they would start me as a cashier where I would be useless, as a computer screen other than my own scares the crap out of me. I am basically a Home depot dating policy illiterate, but the checkout is near the candy about which I could be of service. How hard could checking someone out be for a smart person like me? I watched the cashier carefully. If they want to return something I fake fainting. I would definitely prefer to work the floor. I recently turned on the oven to make a pizza and melted my microwave having forgotten I stored it in there.
Make sure you check the oven before pre-heating. When I graduate from cashier status I would roam the aisles looking for attractive men and praying no one has a question. Do you see the genius?
My own private man land! I will, however, leave you with a few good starter words: circular saw, reciprocating saw, crosscut saw, table saw, hack saw, and band saw. It was so fun to write and dream about! I like the fake fainting also and glad you have used it! I make up excuses to go to Home Depot and see all the men roaming around. I love asking questions of who any man looks my way. Your piece is hysterical. Thanks for making me laugh. Thanks for reading.
So glad you laughed and have your own Home Depot to look at men…. You gave me a good laugh and inspired me to get off Bumble and spend all those useless online dating hours roaming the Home Depot aisles instead.
Thank you! Something to look forward to! So glad I could help. I think we all need to think more creatively about dating as I agree about useless time spent on dating sites. They are just time killers and wasters. Home Depot, Lowes, the local hardware store etc….
Keep us posted on your progress!!
So funny! Wish me luck! OMG I wish you the best of luck and keep me updated! I actually love Home Depot because I have no idea what anything is and there are so many aisles to wander and feel ignorant! Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. AGEIST is a media company dedicated to championing the vitality, influence and contributions of the modern plus demographic, and an agency that advises businesses, brands and organizations on emerging trends and how to better understand, speak to and engage this important and growing segment. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly.
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Thanks, Gail. BTW, the fake fainting is genius—a strategy I use myself from time to time. That was so funny! Good luck — I hope you accomplish your mission!! Thanks Kay, that is always my intention and sometimes it works! Comment: Please comment! Gonepausal is her blog and she has a book on Amazon by the same name filled with stories of her skewed, funny view on midlife and all its attendant surprises.
Humor is the only way forward at this point. Breaking the Dating Code — Jack Lowe, Fit for Life. James Golding, Music and Supernatural Glam. Popular Profiles. John Paul DeJoria, Naveen Jain: Imagining the End of Home depot dating policy.
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My New Dating Site: Home Depot – Or “It’s in Aisle 12 on the Left”