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Unread post by Hel » Sun Feb 28, pm. Unread post by Sam W » Mon Mar 01, am. Unread post by Hel » Mon Mar 01, pm. Unread post by Sam W » Mon Mar 01, pm. Unread post by Mo » Mon Mar 01, pm. Unread post by Hel » Tue Mar 02, am. Unread post by Heather » Tue Mar 02, am. Unread post by Hel » Tue Mar 02, pm. Unread post by Hel » Sat Mar 06, pm. Unread post by Hel » Mon Mar 08, pm. Unread post by Heather » Mon Mar 08, pm.
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Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues. Post Reply topic Next topic. Quote Unread post by Hel » Sun Feb 28, pm So my boyfriend and I have started to talk about sex and be more sexual around each other. It's been really great so far - the conversations about sex, touching nipples, etc. However, I do want him to do it in the near future, so we agreed to do it later this week. I'm actually looking forward to it a lot. I just have a lot of questions about what to expect.
He and I are both virgins and we've never touched each other's genitals before. Will it hurt a lot if he puts his fingers inside my vagina? I masturbate a lot but I've only managed to go inside myself a few times and it's been uncomfortable. I'm hoping with him it will feel good though because I'll be more aroused. Is this a realistic expectation? I'm nervous because I've never done this type of thing before but I'm really excited as well because I really trust my boyfriend and we have really good, open communication. I want this to be a really good experience and I just would like some tips on how to accomplish that.
Re: What can I expect my first time being fingered? Quote Unread post by Sam W » Mon Mar 01, am Hi Hel, In terms of comfort and pleasure during manual sex fingeringthere are a few things you can do. One is to make sure you're using lube, since that decreases the chances of discomfort, and to make sure you're aroused and relaxed before he tries inserting his fingers.
Another is to be really active in communicating with each other; that means him checking in with you about how things feel, and you letting him know if something is uncomfortable or if it feels good. Does that make sense? The question of virginity is a little trickier. Virginity isn't a concrete, physical state, it's actually an idea, one that different people define in majorly different ways. Communication definitely is key. Depends on the mood I guess. Thanks for the tips! I always encourage folks to keep lube handy, even if they're not sure they'll need it.
Sometimes the body produces enough lubricant for things to feel good, other times you can be really turned on and still need an little extra lube. Too, even if he sticks to external touches, lube can help prevent discomfort in those areas too think about someone rubbing your skin with lotion versus without; the lotion cuts down on unpleasant friction.
Quote Unread post by Mo » Mon Mar 01, pm What's going to make you the most aroused is really only something you can figure out through experimentation and experience, the same way you'd figure out what feels best during any kind of sex. Are there things you already like to do together that turn you on a lot? Anything you're really excited to try? I will say that worrying a lot about arousal can actually make feeling relaxed and aroused more difficult, so that's something to keep in mind.
Are there any tips for being relaxed? That's often pretty individual, and depends a First time i got fingered on what you find helps you to relax in general, and then sexually, and with this particular partner. Since you masturbate, you already have some information from that and what you do to relax on your own that you can bring to this: what do you do to set the stage for yourself, as it were? How do you chill out in your body and mind before and during masturbation? You might also think about what you want and need from your partner to feel comfortable with all of this, and talk about that together.
That could be around body image -- like how much looking or not looking you are okay with, and what you need around that -- it could be about what you want from communication and consenting -- would you like him to ask you about what he's going to do in a very step-by-step way or more generally?
What else do you want from communication? Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Hopefully it will be a fun experience. Thanks for the advice! It was exciting when he unzipped my jacket and touched my thighs and stuff. He with my consent, of course tried the whole rubbing my vagina through my underwear.
Thing is, we were outside and it was really, really cold. The cold did not turn me on - it did the opposite. I really want to get aroused! How can I be more turned on? We decided to wait on that as well so we could both be more aroused - hopefully that will make the experience better. Any tips on how I should touch him? No one can tell you how to touch a body First time i got fingered isn't there's ultimately.
We learn how to touch someone else in ways that we and they like by both communicating and experimenting with them. When this is actually something you want to do, do you two have the privacy and environment to be able to just explore each other and experiment? You talked about being out in the cold this last time, which is why I'm asking. Not having any real space or time to really communicate and explore is usually a setup for not-great-times for everybody.
Quote Unread post by Heather » Mon Mar 08, pm You know, it literally is harder for your body to be responsive in the cold, because cold doesn't play nice with blood circulation! So in a way, it might not turn everyone off, but it certainly keeps everyone from being fully turned on!
I'm glad you'll have that space and time. So, the next thing is just to know to lead with your own curiosity and what feels good for you and then questions and other kinds of communication to find out what feels good for him! Learning what feels good for each other really is supposed to be fun -- it's an adventure, you know?
It can help to think of it that way rather than as being like a test you have to pass. Similar Topics. New post Time to Unintentionally Offend Everyone! New post Been wondering for a long timeFirst time i got fingered
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